December issue....

As I was walking towards my usual fruit stall….trying to be on a fruit diet, but failing miserably because I am a gurl who needs real food…so, fruits are just in-between snacks now….I saw a gold emblazoned magazine that shrieks “CLEO”….set against a black background, it all but scream drama!!...

I detoured to check out CLEO. Kaz boom!!Excitement!!! December issue of CLEO is out. My eyes started darting left and right, taking into account the varies magazines Female, Her World, Bazaar…all December issue…..

As my fingers reached forward to grab an issue of CLEO, I suddenly realize I have an unread November issue sitting idly at home, awaiting my attention. Yet, the urge to pick up December issue and discard the unread November issue is well…practically urging me to do just that!

What is so enthralling about a new issue that sends thrill of excitement down your spine?

For me, a new issue is simply divine. It transports my rather mundane day into a magical day. The day when I escape from living to dreaming. When I buy a new issue, my fingers will glide ever so lovingly on its smooth glittery surface. Then, I will scan through the pages as quickly as possible …..checking out the latest fashion code of honour…before settling down in my pajamas and vanilla scented moisturizer plastered to my freshly scrub body to decipher the written articles.

Magazines are a short cut to a world of glitz and dreams come true. Female-oriented magazines can be both educational and girlie frillie ….so, in a way, you get a run down of the dating game, female hygiene, the power of a woman (in and out of bed), some cooking tips…some fashion tips…some career tips…but I think more importantly, why a million and one woman read female-oriented magazines is because it makes us feel less alone. As crazy as this may sound, it is relieve you feel when you read an article and realize that you are living the same nightmare as the poor girl…or have the same mind set as the author…

Hmmm…can’t wait to get my hands on December issue…all the party animal stories, all the bling blings and toasting goodbye to 2004 and welcoming 2005 with open hands….it is the time for Christmas carols and New Year parties…

December magazines just jump start the holiday festivities….

Surreal ! rue the day I thought so!!

Believing in karma is inevitable…every now and then, when shit happens…we would conveniently blame it all on bad deeds reconciling in this and past lives, i.e. karma. Seem so much easier to just blame it on the unimaginable rather than the tangible.

So here, I want to “blame” karma for the sheer bad luck in relationships…what relationships? (you smirking away yet?)…muahahhahah….ok concede, there was none to begin with. But there was some feelings trampled upon and otherwise bruised ego to sooth….

I have always smirked at friends or faceless friends’ friend who seem to fall hopelessly in “love” with a guy “bestfriend”. Feeling slightly more superior than them because you know, I have a wee bit of brains, I vow to never repeat the same mistakes as my friends or friends’ friend. All my life, I have kept relationship with men platonic. It has never occurred to me to deepen the friendship. If they ever and may I just repeat, ever come to me with a personal problem, I will shut them out immediately. Hello…do I look like some cheap physiologist here? Go get a life and stop complaining!!

It must be payback time….because *sob sob* I so darn happen to fall for the vicious circle of falling for a guy friend…*sob sob*

Thanks to all the gentle but firm chiding I have been getting from very supportive sources, I finally accepted the truth. The truth being:-

he is not courting me….it is plain to see that he treats me as a friend

Alas, I am NOT as desirable as I thought of myself….muahahahhaha…..i bet you are thinking, WTF? She has a bloody inflated ego…yes my friend, I do…welcome to the world of Leleente!

But having said that on a lighter beat, it is still hard to accept failure…it is a rather bitter medicine to swallow. All is fair in love and war…yes? No!....war is excruciatingly cruel and unfair….and so is love when you are on the wrong side of the road!

I, who have always worked at things….only to be able to reap the fruit of my labour, do not believe that doors open with a mere prayer or luck….everything happens because you will it to be…and you work at it. Hence, it is rather sad that you can’t work for him to fall in love with you…and that is what has been puzzling me. If everything else is achievable by hard work, why not love?

Are we "developed"?

As I strut towards my luncheon meet-up, I chanced upon a girl standing by the office corridor, having a puff. I continued along, completely unabashed by this sight.

In my cognitive thoughts, nothing unjustly bizarre happened. Hence, it dawned to me that we, as a growing nation, no longer scrutinize a mere girl taking a puff as a disgraceful taboo. Granted that there are still a few older generation voices deeming it a taboo…but generally speaking, most young working adults do not give a hoot to such behaviour.

Then I stop to ponder, are we emulating the westerners? From movies perhaps? Sex and the city perhaps?

If so, goody….why not take a step further and emulate the good. Why stop at smoking for girls? Why not take charge of our lives and be remotely civic minded? Lets stop giving under-table money to authorities. Lets park our cars at designated lots (not because doing otherwise we will be summoned, but because we consciously know that by illegally parking, we may cause unnecessary chaos to other citizens). Lets quee for the bus/ LRT. Lets flush the public toilets that we use (assuming it is working in the first place!). Lets vote for our rights: do not think, we as mere citizens, do not have the power to say YES and NO to changes that will ultimately affect our lives!!! There is a need to support our favourite NGO! Our student movements needs to be aligned and loud…

These are all causes to worry me! Because in the course of emulating the westerners, we choose to emulate the bad and forgo the good! The crux of the problem lies in the fact that it is easier to smoke rather than change our mindset on policies and the betterment of our citizens. The latter issue is much too thought-provoking. And we are citiziens who are not loud, do not ask questions and are generally non-confrontational!