Confrontation

There was a ripple in my friend’s calm water....naturally it is not difficult to single out the cause: for a girl, it is always either a man or the extra two pounds I saw on the weighing scale this morning! Unfortunately for her, it was the first cause that buggered. For if it was the latter, there is a clear solution: hit the gym and no nasi lemak for the next one week......

The story is a classic: She has always had a crush for this young man, back when she was barely ten. Circumstances and education parted this friendship for many years to come. After many sea crossings, a chanced meeting in a foreign country seem like a sign from the Divine. It made her think that perhaps fate and cupid has finally intervene to bring her the other half, allowing her to complete a curve to a full circle. Naturally, she fell fast and not lightly too. Who could blame her? I think out of ten girls, ten girls will be able to empathize with her.

And.....De javu. I was transported back to a time when not knowing was creating havoc in my world of calm waters. A time when the mere thought of him will make me blush. Hating the fact that he always manage to put a smile on my face with a single message, and somehow craving for those precious few messages.

Alas, things don’t always turn out the way we sometimes want to interpret. As you fall, you want to know if he is returning the favour. You analyse, interpret and re-interpret all his moves, gestures, words, sentences and even intonation! This constant battle in mind will drive you to pull all your hair off your scalp....and when you are left with no choice, you will have to do a confrontation.

Two note worthy advise from my experience:

(1) Oh sumi, maybe if I didn’t say this or do that, he would like me?
Advise: Even if you spill ketchup all over your dress, if the guy likes you...he will like you, packaging and whole.

(2) Oh, maybe this friendship is too precious and he does not want to lose it, which is why he is not making any explicit moves?
Advise: If a guy likes you, he will move both hill and mountain to not only make you see his finer points but also to sacrifice the friendship

And then the confrontation. She asked. And you know the answer....(and if you don’t, go back to the first word of this blog entry and read again!)

Mr M told me on more than one account that there are many ways to skin a cat....sometimes the best method is to do so with a lot of gentleness...a less of a shocker so to speak. Although i hear the logic in such advise, i decided to disagree to such a method. For example, if you say something gently vague, you might not get an answer and then you will be back to square one. On the other hand, if your question was a simple: I happen to like you and it would be a great help to my sanity if i know whether you return the favour or otherwise. A simple answer gives less room for the guys to manuveur himself out whilst managing to keep you hanging by a thin line.

Confrontations are very very difficult. Takes a lot of courage and deserves to be applauded. If there is any compensation to your pain, I would say that many days from now, you will feel a sense of freedom, a flight that was granted because you have the answer...in fact, it have been a rather liberating experience for me.