Come nearer, a question to ask

Hey, come nearer...i need to whisper a question to you...how long will this happiness last?

No one must hear this otherwise they will think i am demented!

I am so so so happy! You won’t believe how much energy I had when I woke up this morning! I was up at 5.30am! That would make it 6 hours of dreamland. Normally, I will need 7 hours. Being rational (or lazy), I “forced” myself back into slumber land and woke up at 6.30am. I had a surged of energy and strength and happiness. Don’t ask me where that came from. I have no freaking idea! I was singing to Light&Easy’s tune as I cruise to work. This morning, I had the desire to just smile and laugh and smile and laugh. Everyone commented that I am very happy. I am happy to be at work, I am happy to be alive, I am happy being me! What a rare occasion. And to have nothing (i.e. no need for material presents or a guy to whisper sweet nothings) that hinges on my current state of happiness is SURREAL!

Yet, I am scared. Where does all this happiness lead to? When is it going to end? The beauty of depression is that you know you are at rock bottom and there is no other way that up. But when you are on cloud nine, it is scary being there. It is blissful but the question is when will it end?

See, I already think I am a bit neurotically, always on PMS mood swings!!!!